Your Daily Muslim #532: Falah Khalid


Falah Khalid figured out how to use Instagram. That's probably the most intellectually-challenging thing this Muslim has ever done.

Falah Khalid figured out how to use Instagram. That’s probably the most intellectually-challenging thing this Muslim has ever done.



“Be a polytheist and the world praises you, you get Nobel peace prizes, challenge that, be an atheist you get awards. Get invited to exotic parties go around the world, have the US navy be right at your disposal in case of any threats. Be a single God following Muslim man the whole world wants you gone and eradicated coz you are an evil and backwarded person. There was a word once for evil and backward people, it was ‘polytheists and atheists.’ Funny how the selling of women and killing of children has comeback with ‘freedom of expression and democracy.’”


Indian-born Muslim Falah Khalid, who now lives in Saudi Arabia, has a real chip on his shoulder. Instead of accepting the superiority of other lifestyles and belief systems, the bitter Muslim spends his time lashing out at them. I guess that’s better than the other kind of lashing Muslims frequently do to infidels. Khalid spends an inordinate amount of time on social media, likely because there’s very little to do in Saudi Arabia – everything fun has been banned because crazy old men labeled it “haram.”


On Facebook, Khalid has declared his support for Islamist preachers like pedophile Muhammad Salah. He is also a noted critic of the western social media trend of uploading fitness photos. On one image uploaded by the bodybuilding.com Facebook page which featured a shirtless man and a woman in a sports bra working out, Khalid asked a very peculiar question: “Since its all over social media i wanna know working out naked makes us further more chiseled or what?” For one, the people weren’t naked, the image was totally G-rated. However, to a Muslim, any woman who shows any amount of skin and doesn’t hide under a ridiculous bedsheet is considered “naked.”


Muslims don’t use toilet paper; instead they put water on their hand and wash their ass out with it as instructed in their holy texts. Many including Khalid criticize the western use of toilet paper.


falahkhalidtoilet


Personally, I’ll stick with the paper. The west knows what it’s doing when it comes to hygiene. Khalid’s accusation that his fellow Muslims in the west use toilet paper is somewhat lacking in merit; many Muslims over here still wash themselves out the Islamic way. As for his gross description of using the paper to clean: maybe he should try toilet paper sometimes. I bet he’d like it.


Now here’s the most bizarre western conspiracy a Muslim has thought up in YDM history. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the intellectual prowess of Falah Khalid and his totally logical train of thought (backed by tons of evidence) that led him to his astounding conclusion:


falahkhalid


I… don’t even know what to say. I think I’ll just let you all keep shaking your heads the rest of the weekend until YDM533 goes up on Monday.




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